Rin's Broken Dreams
by xxfirebubblesxx
Summary: Songfic for Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day. The horse of the zodiac reflects on her painful past.


Disclamer- I do not own Fruits Basket or the song, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams."

**Rin's Broken Dreams**

Izusu Sohma, the horse of the Jyuunishi, tossed and turned on her bed, getting tangled in the sheets. She sat up, sweating profusely, remembering things she was trying so hard to lock away and forget. Fresh air. She craved fresh air right now. Grabbing a black jacket, she pulled it over her thin black slip while pulling on her knee-high leather boots. Quietly, she pried open her window and pulled herself over the frame, landing heavily on the ground. Rin cursed her frail body as she lay still panting, until she caught her breath again. She then stood up on shaky legs, taking halting steps towards the street.

_I walk a lonely road_

_The only one that I have ever known_

_Don't know where it goes_

_But it's home to me and I walk alone_

Rin slowly increased her pace, walking briskly down the deserted road. Caressed by the wind, her long black locks were floating around her pale face freely. The frosty night air made every breath hurt, her weakened lungs unused to such cold.

I walk this empty street 

_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams_

_Where the city sleeps_

_and I'm the only one and I walk alone_

Rin had a nightmare about her childhood again. The memories that she had struggled so valiantly to block out were haunting her dreams. The strain that she was feeling was slowly showing on her broken body. She was now gaunt and disturbingly pale. Choking down nourishment was slowly becoming harder. Suddenly, red-hot rage coursed through her veins, flooded her mind, obscured her vision.

_I walk alone_

_I walk alone_

She hated feeling weak and helpless. **SHE HATED IT.**

_I walk alone_

_I walk a..._

But that's what she was feeling right now. Weak, helpless, and... lonely. Rin frowned, wondering where lonely came from. But as she analyzed her feelings, she realized that was how she felt right now. Lonely.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

_'Til then I walk alone_

Rin wanted a family that would embrace her with open arms and truly love her. She wanted genuine concern and affection. Was that too much to ask? Her parents who had only pretended to care. And she had been fooled. That's what pissed her off the most. She only wanted the plain and simple truth. She had learned the hard way that truth was hard to find, so now she guarded her trust closely.

_I'm walking down the line_

_That divides me somewhere in my mind_

_On the border line_

_Of the edge and where I walk alone_

Standing still at the side of the street, Rin knew she had been mentally wandering over to that place. The corner of her brain she had reserved to lock away all her painful memories. Inhaling deeply, she crossed the edge and all of a sudden, painful memories overwhelmed her. She wanted to crumble and let the tears fall as she remembered what happened after her parents abandoned her.

_Read between the lines_

_What's ed up and everything's alright_

_Check my vital signs_

_To know I'm still alive and I walk alone_

After her parents had stopped pretending to care for her, she went to stay with Kagura's family. Hatori had checked her over, and given her medicine, but they all knew her body wasn't damaged; it was her mind. Slowly but steadily, her heath worsened as the raw emotions ate her away.

_I walk alone_

_I walk alone_

She had felt so lonely, lying in bed while staring out the window at the joyful families that passed. Overwhelming sadness would make her long for... what? Rin didn't know what she wanted anymore.

_I walk alone_

_I walk a..._

Standing up shakily, she slowly headed towards Kagura's home, taking halting steps against the frigid wind. The damn breeze always managed to find places in Rin's coat that left her feeling frozen inside. Her knee-high boots helped, but she still shivered at an alarming rate. She had to hurry home before she transformed. 

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

_'Til then I walk alone_

Finally reaching the house, Rin crouched beneath her window and hoisted herself up. She crawled into her room, shutting the window after her. With fumbling fingers she removed her coat and boots, throwing them onto the ground. 

_I walk alone_

_I walk a..._

Rin slowly crawled into bed, enjoying the warmth her blankets provided. After shifting around a bit, she found a comfortable position and settled down. All of a sudden, she felt something wet dribble down her cheek over and over. Puzzled, Rin reached her hand up to her face to discover the source of this liquid. To her surprise, it was from her own eyes. She was crying. Sobbing, Rin buried her face in her pillow and cried into the night, relieving all of the hurt she had enshrined into her heart during her childhood. 

_I walk this empty street_

_On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams_

_Where the city sleeps_

_And I'm the only one and I walk a..._

While she was crying, a dark shape slipped into her room, crawling under the covers with her. "Shh... It's okay, Izusu. I'm here." Kagura crooned, gently rubbing the back of her fellow Jyuunishi member. Weeping, Rin clung to Kagura, while she made soft comforting noises to try to ease her pain.

_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

_'Til then I walk alone..._

For the first time in a while, Rin slept soundly, not haunted by her painful memories. Suprisingly, they didn't hurt that much anymore. It's amazing what a simple walk and a good cry can do. Rin didn't want to be alone anymore. That was what she was certain of. She promised herself that one day she would let go of the pain and find somebody to walk with.

A/N: Whoa. O.o Where did this come from? Originally, I was going to use this song for a Yuki fic, but Rin also works! This fic is set before Rin and Haru get together. I tried my best at writing sad stuff for a change. If it sucks, please note that I don't usually write angst, ok? Please R&R!


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